


Dear Noctis

by scattered_dream



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Gen, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love Confessions, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 13:03:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14716581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scattered_dream/pseuds/scattered_dream
Summary: A letter Prompto writes for Noctis before he decides to take his life. I'm sorry.





	Dear Noctis

Noctis,

How am I supposed to move forward without you to follow?

You were more than my best friend. You were my world.

And now that you’re gone, there's nothing left for me.

Photography used to be my go-to coping mechanism when I had bad days and it was something I felt proud of. But you were my muse. Now nothing inspires me. When I take photos, it’s not the same.

When you were here, I was a generally happy person. I was the one to ease the tension when shit went down, I cracked jokes, I laughed at whatever I could. I smiled, even if it was forced sometimes. I hid a ton of my emotional baggage, even from you, and sure I felt insecure and useless but at the end of the day, I took the most positive approach I could and I like to think it helped us get through.

But I don’t have that underlying hope and happiness I used to have, Noct. It’s gone. Not buried deep, but gone. I’m not even living. I watch myself walking around, hunting daemons, and sustaining myself but what is there to sustain? I guess I’m just an empty body at this point.

I never told you, Noct. I don’t know if it would have made any difference and that’s the worst part. Maybe you figured it out.

I loved you.

I love you.

That’s something that’s still present tense.

I love you, Noct.

It sounds stupid, but I don’t care about anything anymore. To me, you were everything.

From the moment I met you my life changed, and that was before we were even friends.

I guess it only makes sense that I can’t live anymore, when you were the source of my air. Told you it sounds stupid.

But I can’t hold this feeling in anymore. I have to least write it down. I’ve bottled it up and pushed it aside for fifteen years. And now it’s out and I don’t know how to feel.

I wish you could respond.

Maybe, even if we couldn’t be close to each other, even if you weren’t ever here with me, that would be enough. A reply would be enough.

But then I realize you’re truly gone.

Sometimes I forget the permanence.

Sometimes I feel exactly like I felt all those years you were away, in the crystal. I remember thinking  _he’s not around but he’s out there somewhere. He’ll be back. I won’t see him for a long time and I'll never know how long it’ll be between now and then. But he’s still here_.

And this is when I panic. You’re not just _not here_.

You’re gone.

No replies, no talking, no laughs, no signs that you’re listening.

No drives, no fist bumps, no yelling, no tears.

No Noct.

There is nothing, and I’m scared.

Which is just another reminder that you’re not here to calm me down and take care of me when I should have been stronger, taking care of you.

You would talk me down, I know you would.

And that’s why I’m done.

All I have left are memories and photos of the most precious moments with the most precious person in my life. They remind of what I’ve lost and what I’ll never get back.

But this way, I can be with you again. I can see you.

If heaven fucking exists you’ll be there. Luna will be there, too.

It’ll be okay because at least I’ll still have you in some way. What did you see me as, Noct? A friend, a brother?

For awhile, it hurt to know that we couldn't ever be more than friends. There were times that just being your friend didn't feel like enough.

But now it’s enough. More than enough.

So even though you would yell at me and try to stop me, even though you may be upset with me in our next life, you’re _not here_ to yell or try to stop me or be upset with me. Thank you for caring, Noct. You’ll never understand how much it means to me that you cared.

You’re _not here_ to tell me not to do this, so what’s the point in listening to a Noctis who isn’t talking, who isn’t fucking here?

I’m sorry I’m not strong anymore, Noct. _You_ made me strong.

I love you, Noct. That’s the reason I'm doing this.

I’m choosing to believe in one last thing, for you, for me, for us.

I believe in this next life. I believe you’re up there, letting go of everything for once. You didn’t deserve anything that happened. But you do deserve peace. And I’ll always follow you, even now. _Ever at your side_ , remember?

See you soon. 

Prompto 

**Author's Note:**

> FFXV killed me. But I love it so dearly... Thank you, Nomura.


End file.
